How to Destroy your Restaurant

90% of restaurants don’t fail in the first years, but that shouldn’t encourage you.  If somehow you’ve succeeded in financing and followed through on establishing your restaurant you’ve realized it is way too much work.  Here are a few easy tips to make sure you don’t fall into the profitable minority of successful established restaurants.

Minimum wage.

Your employees take it because they don’t have any skills that are worth more or at least don’t have the courage to be paid for it.  Paying your employees the least you are legally allowed to sends a clear message, ‘I don’t value what you do and I would pay you less if I could.’  If they stick around long enough to learn what they’re supposed to do, give them a ten cent raise.  It says ‘you’re worth more than the other employees now, but not by much.’

Stick to your station.

Be the owner that only comes in to ask about customer complaints, check for dust and catch employees slacking.  Ignore the things that are going well.  If it gets busy – and hopefully overwhelmingly busy- pull out a notebook and write in it after looking at each employee.  Make sure most requests are met with ‘that’s not my job.’

Get away with what you can.

Most minimum wage workers don’t have the curiosity to read that giant OSHA poster you’re required to hang and accidentally half hidden behind the fridge.  Overtime Pay?  We don’t do that here, you get tips remember?

Fire someone every month.

No one should be comfortable.  If they start enjoy their job they will lean against the counters and smile when they should be cleaning something.

Not my problem.

Ensure that the manager doesn’t allow the store to accept responsibility for errors.  Instead bring the offending server or cook in front of the patrons and force them to admit stupidity and offer to personally reimburse the guests.

Business and friends don’t mix.

Scowl when you hear employees talk about the weekend – at least the ones that weren’t working until 11 pm.  Breaks are a chance to get away from the vermin you work with.  I can’t help you catch up on those dishes because A) I’m not your friend, B) it’s not my problem and C) work isn’t a place for me to cross train for new skills.

Focus on the money.

Reward your manager for cutting costs – water is a great substitute for table sanitizers.  Safety can be compromised as long as it pads the owners pockets.


What restaurant destroying tips did I miss?


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